I appreciate your input and thoughts, kh_pri. Dont get me wrong, I agree, it's not a normal thing to shun a child. Not attending my wedding hurt, even though I played it off and moved on. I am not one to harbor resentment. Shit happens, I move on. A great many out there in the world have had it far, far worse than me.
My parents have my respect though, because of the people they are. Even though they are faithful witnesses, they are also independent, pro active, and logical. My father found a way to not only provide for his family, but also planned for a future, in case the end didn't come before retirement. He and my mother live comfortably well on his income since his retirement. He did this while working a part time job, so he had time to devote to us, his family, and to his responsibilities as a jw. We never had a lot, but we never were without. We took family vacations at least once a year (and quite often more than once or even twice a year) that weren't tied into a convention, or other JW activities, (though on sundays we would consider the wt together). We always had plenty. It wasnt usually new, or the latest thing, but it was always good. Their love, balanced view. and frugality gave us a great upbringing that as an adult, I can appreciate. I dont want to say much more, or get too specific, but compared to some of the things I've seen and heard, my folks were as balanced as a witness in good standing could be.
Now, that said, after having gotten reinstated, and attending some conventions, saw changes, and the org tightening their grasp on the r&f. I was at the 2016 convention and saw the drama where the mother tearfully ignored her disfellowshipped daughters texts and phone calls. My immediate thoughts were, how horrible that mother would feel if that text was her daughters last plea for help. It wasnt loving, and was in fact horrible to think about. I knew I could never do that to my own children, FOR ANY REASON. As much as I loved my parents, and as balanced as I knew them to be, I know there is a line, if crossed, where they would completely shun me. This is exactly why I use my alias, and am careful about what i say, even here. I get disagreeing with your child, even disapproving of their actions or lifestyle. I can even understand a parent being disgusted by their childs actions, and hating who their child has become. But I cannot understand not being there for them. Not showing them love, regardless of their actions. It might have to be tough love, but attention is love, none the less. To deprive ones own child of love and attention is inhuman.